Managing Stress During Stressful Times (S. 4, Ep. 2)

There's no denying that there is a lot going on now that is disrupting the daily life of many families.  The pressures on employment, our pocketbook, health and spirituality are impacting many and causing increasing stress on the body.  If you are feeling stressed, this episode is for you!  Join us in our talk with Dr. Sandra Smith, a highly skilled family medicine doctor and our own Medical Consultant.  Don't let stress take you down.  Learn to manage it with Dr. Smith's very practical advice.  

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hi, I'm Glenda. And I'm Lisa. And we are Two Black Moms and a Mic. Between us, we have six kids, four boys and two girls. And we're here to talk to you about everything from diapers to degrees. Welcome to our podcast. There's a lot going on affecting us every angle of our lives these days. Our pocketbook, our spirituality, our physical health, our mental health. Many women are getting laid off from their offices where they worked for many years. Others are getting laid off from jobs that they have just secured. And the political news on TV, as many of us dressed out every day. And if you are feeling a bit edgy and less patient with your family, this episode is for you. That's right. Today we have back with us our medical consultant, Dr. Sandra Smith, and we're going to talk to her about managing stress in stressful times. So Dr. Sandy is back. Welcome back, Dr. Sandy. Well, hello there, Lisa and Glenda. It's so nice to be back with you again. Well, it's great having you. As Glenda described, I mean, there's a lot going on, a lot of kind of current events that are affecting a lot of families and women adversely. And so we want to talk to you about ways to manage all the stress that people experience. I mean, I know I'm experiencing a lot of stress and that's probably the case for Glenda also. What would you say to someone who came up to you wanting to know how they can go about managing their stress better? So think about stress. We consider the fact that stress can serve a good purpose in small quantities. We think about how just a little stress motivates us to get out of bed and to take care of our families and to go to work. But the problem starts when stress becomes chronic and it can have a biologic, physiologic effect on the body that can be very damaging. And many people are familiar with that. Yeah, because I think with, you know, people losing their jobs or threatening, you know, loss of employment, that's sort of like a stress event that comes like crashing down at you at once, you know? And the thing about these hormones and these chemicals that are released, if they're released over a long period of time, they can have deleterious health effects. You think about cortisol. It's a stress hormone, but it can increase your blood sugar long term. You think about leading to diabetes and making your body resistant. So that can lead to diabetes also? Cortisol is long term stimulation with cortisol. People are often familiar with the use of prednisone. And if you use prednisone too long, it can raise your blood sugar. Sometimes it's used for certain types of arthritis. But cortisol is a similar hormone that can cause that sort of effect on the body. You also think about like adrenaline and norepinephrine. Adrenaline, it rushes into your bloodstream when you're in a stressful situation. But long term, it can raise your blood pressure, increase your heart rate. And all of these things can actually damage your body, lead to heart attacks and strokes. And long term blood pressure problems, as we know, can be very dangerous. Well, thanks for sharing that. It kind of opens my mind to think about we as black women are already faced with a lot of this high blood pressure and diabetes issues. And you add the element of stress to it. It's a ticking time bomb. That's actually true. All these hormones are released into your body. They're good for a short period, but long term, they can be very damaging. And another thing that stress can do is interrupt your sleep. You know, starting with the brain, it can cause you to lose focus long term, affect your concentration, interrupt your sleep. When people are stressed, they worry. They often have a hard time falling asleep. Their mind's racing. They wake up frequently during the night. And all of these things can have harmful effects on the body. Considering all that is happening around us in this country right now, How do we go about managing this stress? Since we can't really say that we're going to ignore it because if you lose your job, you're going to be stressful and it's not like you can ignore that. If your kids are going through a period of stress, it impacts you even if you don't want it to. I'm speaking from experience here. So what do we do or what can we do? First, you really need to take care of yourself. Unless you have minor children who depend on you for food and clothing, then we have to really look at ourselves first and think about taking care of ourselves. Well, everybody says that, though. And it is really important. It's just so hard to do, you know? Well, it depends on the person. It depends on the priorities in your life. Sometimes you have to take a good look at things around you. Unless somebody's in serious trouble, sometimes you have to say, let me think of me first. Let me eat properly, get the extra Yeah, I guess like put your own oxygen mask on first. Dear you. Oh my God, I was thinking the same thing. How many times as moms or parents, you know, Have you heard that? Put your own oxygen mask on first, but you don't do it. I'm guilty. I'm confessing right now. And I want to be better because I truly do believe what Dr. Sandy is saying, that if you are burnt out, there's no way you can really help them. And so lately I've been thinking, oh, I should go back to doing yoga, but I don't really want to be in a room with a bunch of other stressful women. And you don't have to be. Now that the weather's so nice, you can take a 30-minute walk, even a 15-minute walk, just to get out into nature by yourself, meditate, just focus on you. And you can avoid being in a room with other people exercising. Based on the state of what is happening right now in our country and in being in my 60s, it's bringing back memories that I would prefer not to remember. And it's frustrating because I don't want my children or I never wanted my children. Yeah, they're all adults and grown. I never wanted them to have to endure some of the types of situations that we seem to be going toward in this country at this particular time. So part of me, it's like I send them motivational things in the morning to get them started on their day or to help them like this too shall pass. And still I rise from Maya Angelou, right? And I don't want to be this worried, but I don't know how to calm my mind from this worry. That's meditation though. That can help calm your mind. You know, we did a prior episode on meditation and it's something that you can do that for that moment, it can calm your mind and it's supposed to like lower your blood pressure. And there's simple guides to meditation if you've never done it before. You can go online and find ways to meditate. There are apps available about meditation. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or formal, but it can teach you how to focus in on yourself, on your breathing, on the moment. Also, finding community with like-minded people is an important way to help deal with the stressors that we're experiencing during this current time. That's when friends come in handy. So sort of in summary, when you think about ways to cope with your stress, remember to focus on yourself first. How can I be my best so I can help others? Think about your diet. You know, cut out that extra sugar or salt. Try to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Try to follow a low-fat diet. Exercise. Nothing complicated. Do a few simple weights. Make sure you get enough sleep. And watch less TV. TV's okay. Unless it's Netflix, maybe. And always remember therapy. Always remember therapy. If you really think you need some help or just need somebody to talk to who's objective, you know, reach out to a behavioral health specialist who can give you some guidance. That's a great idea. There's a lot of virtual mental health services happening right now that are available to people in So that is a really great idea. Yeah. Like another thing is that because I guess people probably think of seeking out a counselor or mental health professional if they're in dire straits. But you don't have to wait until you're in a black hole. It's common for people to have therapists that they meet with regularly to just sort of sort through their world and their life. You know, and that's probably the best time to contact the therapist. There's usually a stigma. So around getting mental health or asking for mental health. I'm here to tell you that it's okay that you really should reach out to get mental health. And sometimes if you're not comfortable talking to someone who you don't think gets you, there are different organizations where you can look for mental health providers that look like you. There's also like if you work for the federal government, there's the Employee Assistance Program. Ah, yeah, that's true. I think you'll get up to like 10 or 12 or 15 sessions at no cost. Right, because it's not cheap to get mental health. And there's a lot of places that don't take insurance. So you just got to keep looking for the right place for you. So don't be shamed or embarrassed by the fact that you need to reach out to get mental health. Yeah, that's a very important thing to remember. And hopefully that's the stigma of seeking out mental health care. is subsiding, I think, with some of the public service announcements that have been around that may be helping. And it's even quite fashionable to have a therapist, I would say. Yeah, your BFF can't necessarily be a therapist. No, you actually need somebody objective to help you out, to really look at your issues, somebody that doesn't have any skin in the game. Yeah, that won't judge, right? Right, that won't judge. Be open to it. There's a lot of good therapists out there, whether or not it's a licensed counselor, a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a social worker. There are a variety of different avenues to search out for mental health. Since we are talking about managing stress, doing the stressful times with our medical consultant, Dr. Sanity. And how do we go about helping our families? And you want to give them the same guidance that we've talked about here tonight. You want to talk to them about getting enough rest, eating properly. taking a look at their lives to see what direction they want to go in, seeking therapy if they need it, and just living a healthy lifestyle. There's always going to be something to worry about. And we really just have to prioritize what things are important to us. Take care of yourself first and everything else will fall into place. Don't watch so much news on the TV, which that creates a lot of stress for me, quite honestly. Well, not only the TV, kind of stay away from social media. Oh, that's true. That's another thing, too, like the kids with social media, which is almost impossible. Right. That's why all the electronics need to be out of the bedroom. Set a regular time for bed because there are people that actually sleep with their devices. And that's a no-no. But it's impossible with teens especially. Right. But we have to set our rules. And that's a time when everybody should sit down and discuss what's going to be the healthiest for them, what will improve their grades, and what will make them feel less stressed. And it's been shown that people who don't use their devices for a week at a time or even a few days at a time feel more calm, are resting better, are digesting their food better, are interacting with their family and friends better. It's interesting you talk about Those are really great points. But I don't see students letting go of phones. I mean, it's very addictive, not just for teenagers, for everyone. Yeah. And that was actually a scary feeling, but I'm always nervous. Are my parents, you know, is there going to be an emergency with my parents? Or is my daughter going to reach out to me about tell me something about whatever? Yeah. And that's hard. That's why we have to work on stepping away. It can be very addictive and it's more dangerous, especially for minors because of social media and the pressures that they put on those individuals to be a certain way or to act a certain way or to be with a certain group, which you may not see in adults. Some adults may be affected by that, but that sort of area doesn't affect adults in the same way. Yeah. In all honesty, I think that whole social media is a whole nother episode of the impact of social media on your mental health and your ability to function. whether you're a high schooler, middle schooler. Grown ass woman. I wasn't going to say it, but there we go. I said it for you. There we go. But I will say that it's harder and harder to stay off of it a little bit now because there's constant changes happening around us. And maybe that's a reason to not be on it because you hear one change, you get all worked up. Then there's another change and you get all worked up. So then you're back to stress again. So maybe there's a reason to just date a hell off your phone. Yeah. I think that's right. People also like, you know, they're using it for... like legitimate news too, which is. You can read the news. There's one thing about, you know, there's one thing to read the news. Using social media as like legitimate. Oh, right. Yeah. Well, that's, yeah. Might not have a basis in fact. Right. Exactly. Talking about TikTok tells us everything. Yeah. On TikTok, you can learn all kinds of stuff. You can. And you know who told me that had a sit down talk with me? My children, my adult children. They were trying to get you off. They're like, mom, I think. You need to get off TikTok. And I'm like, OK, maybe there's really a problem here. I would say, oh, no, but it's how I take a break from what I'm studying. You know, and they're like, but you're studying mental health, but you're obsessing TikTok. So message delivered, message received. And I got off of TikTok. Oh, look. See, there you go. Yes, right. You're open to learning. See, right. I'm open. I'm a lifelong learner. But I do like TikTok. I'm not going to lie. You have to monitor yourself. Yeah, I'll monitor myself. And I remember when my kids were younger, we would just play TikTok Toe or something, you know, while we were waiting for the food or whatever. But now when I see people with their kids going out I just see kids with tablets. Tablets, yeah. And not necessarily interacting, which, by the way, parents, it's very important for your children to interact with you at all age levels, particularly when they're young. It helps develop their communication skills, their socialization skills, and their ability to be patient and wait their turn for something. And I'm not seeing a whole lot of those skills these days in school settings. So maybe we need to go back to some of the old school ways of interacting with our kids versus using tablets all the time. Just saying. I know we're all stressed and sometimes giving them a tablet lets you breathe for a moment, but let it be for a moment and not for years. So remember, focus on yourself first, get your own body in order, get your own mind in order, and you'll be perfect for everybody else. Be sure to check us out on our website at www.twoblacklomsatamic.com where we hope that you will subscribe. You can also hear this and our other podcasts on Google Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Audible, and Podchaser. If you like what you hear, we hope you'll give a great review. Hey, thanks for joining us today. This is Glenda. And this is Lisa. Two black moms and a mic, and we're signing off.